A patient’s final wish: to be there for her daughter’s wedding
“One thing I will forever be grateful for is that, somehow, despite everything, my mum still got to be part of my wedding.”
Elle and her husband, Modestas, were due to marry in May. Her mum, PAM, was a patient receiving care from the palliative team at Whipps Cross Hospital and never let go of the hope that she would be there for her daughter’s special day.
When PAM’s health began to deteriorate, Elle and Modestas asked if a pre‑wedding blessing could be arranged sooner at the Margaret Centre, so that PAM could share the moment with them. The team made it possible, and the blessing took place in late April.
Father Bernard, chaplain at Whipps Cross Hospital, blessed the rings, offered prayers for the couple, and read a special prayer from the parents.
PAM sadly passed away three days later.
Reflecting on the day, Elle shared: “I truly believe she hung on for that day. When I arrived in her room, the first thing she said was, ‘You look pretty.’ I told her she did too.
“The nurses helped Mum dress in the outfit she had originally chosen for my wedding, before she became ill. They tied her headwrap and put on the gratitude bracelet we’d picked for the actual wedding day—a bracelet I’d been wearing constantly while she was sick, and one I will rarely take off now. I added some earrings for her before getting dressed myself.
“The sun shone for us that afternoon, and we were able to have the blessing outside in the garden, surrounded by so much love.”
Father Bernard said: “It was one of those wonderful stories of joy we sometimes see in chaplaincy where, in the face of difficulty and danger, things come together to bring a ray of spiritual sunshine into the lives of people who have not had much to celebrate recently. May the happy couple thrive and excel in all that they do. May PAM rest in peace and rise in glory.”
Elle added: “I cannot thank the team enough. A special mention goes to Caroline from the palliative care team, who was pivotal in helping me navigate everything, played a huge part in getting my mum moved to the Margaret Centre, and who first suggested the blessing. A huge thank you also to the chaplaincy team and Dr Eleni, who organised everything within 24 hours, ran to M&S to buy me flowers, and arranged the bouquet themselves. It was pure kindness.
“Losing my mum will never feel fair. I can be angry about everything I’ve lost and everything she will miss. But I will forever be grateful for what we did have, and that we got this moment.”
At Barts Health, we’re proud to work with such amazing staff who are dedicated to supporting patient’s and relatives during times of loss, change or other challenging times. Our Chaplaincy Team are made up of professionals from a range of faith and beliefs, who can offer you or a loved one confidential support and comfort depending on your needs.